"And you don't really understand what 'it' means. Just that someone else messed around with your mind somehow." Phil knows he's at the start of whatever this is. He's going to have to find out more details to really understand and come to terms with himself and what was done to him.

Dead. He was dead. It's such a strange thought when he feels so very alive.

He does not follow suit and finish his drink. Phil feels a comfortable warmth in himself from the alcohol and doesn't want to push his luck. Without knowing what unlocking his mind will do he's going to be careful of alcohol and other mind altering substances.

"If I was worried about your evals I would've called you up here today." Phil's not worried by Clint's very human reactions. He's allowed to have those. All other metrics are fine. He's still the world's best shot. Still a capable agent.