"I don't want her to ruin a good thing, y'know? She's come a long way." And so long as she keeps tabs from a far distance, apparently that's enough. "Figure if she wanted in on what I get up to, she'd show up."

There's that unspoken worry. Because she would know beyond anyone else left how much this kills him and how much this is his way of trying to work through having a whole life ripped out from under him.

"Thanks for not doing something really stupid, like asking if I'm okay."