[ Yeah, he's probably feeling a lot more guilty than he's actually letting on and everything's manifesting in his dreams whether he likes it or not. Add to that is his empathy bond with Clint and it's a recipe for waking up hot and bothered.
He breathes out a sigh, blue eyes glancing at his friend. The corners of his lips curl up a little. ]
I don't think I'd ever stop blaming myself, but- [ He frowns a bit, his small smile turning a bit lopsided. ] In my dreams, we both want it. At least, in them, it's different.
You got some experience in that? How many--uh. [Hm. You know what. Maybe 'how many people were involved' is an awkward question.] Was there anyone else? There? Feeling things out from anyone else?
[ Shit. Well. There goes his cheeks. Bright as a ripe tomato. His forehead creases as he swallows. Tries very fucking hard not to look at Clint. ]
In my dreams with you, it's just the two of us.
[ However, he knows he's also been having dreams about Bucky that are equally steamy, and something tells Steve it's more than just him dating his fellow centenarian. It's also because he's bonded with him, too.
But that's even more personal. ] We do a lot of things, though.
[ First-hand experience? Oh. With someone he's connected to? Oh. RIP Steve's pale Irish skin, you're now bright red.
Steve coughs, clears his throat, and did he really say they can tell each other anything? Is it too late to back track that a little?
No, he's going to stick by his word, no matter how awkward this feels right now. ]
I have.
[ And just as he says those two words, he instantly thinks of Bucky and the times they've done The Deed. So maybe Clint doesn't have to ask who it is, because Steve's feelings for people don't really come muted. They're usually intense, platonic or not. Fact of the matter is, sure, he's in love with Bucky but he's also horny for the man. And mixed with his horny dreams of Clint, well. Does this mean he's just horny right now? Did it suddenly feel a bit hot? Jesus. ]
O...kay. Good. I mean--at least I wasn't misinterpreting you. [And Steve is very red and very awkward about it. So! Okay! Good for him! Good for him. Wait, talking about 'I dream about us fucking' isn't too awkward, but 'I have slept with someone for real' is?]
We don't have to talk about any of it. If you don't want.
[ Yup, he doesn't want to talk about it further because knowing he's connected to Clint might unearth some feelings. So he's thankful that his friend doesn't seem to know, or feel, whatever he's feeling right now. Good. Good!
He clears his throat again and will try to pivot so his face will return to normal. ] Just wanted to see how you're doing, if you're alright. See if I can help in any way. I feel I haven't seen you in a bit.
Yeah. Well. Got shot. Got thrown around. Got taken in by a psychopath who should want me dead and I am still really not sure what he wanted with me if he wasn't going to kill me. Tried to stop a looting in a lab. Sanctum's...kiiind of a jungle. Which, still better than the train, probably.
Or when we were working on it. [ Remembering how he had to rescue Clint from cutting himself while getting snowed in a cabin where they had to get warm.
His eyes roam over Clint, gaze palpably concerned. ] Where did you get shot? And who's this psychopath?
[ Because now that his shield's back, he won't hesitate going after them. Not that its absence would stop Steve either. ]
Two different incidents. Don't worry about it. Don't--worry about either one, actually.
[The last thing he needs is Steve getting himself deep into something he shouldn't. Look, it's a huge city. It's a state-sized city. The chances that he's really going to run into Aunamee all that often (or, what, is it Adam now, is he going to stay in a stolen apartment?) seem like they should be small.
Never zero, though.]
Frank and I have been practicing this thing where he's able to shield me with this...like a living kevlar vest type of thing? This place makes things and people go weird sometimes. Went into a situation like that, I thought it was clear, turns out it wasn't, good thing his kevlar goop also does a neat healing trick. Just leaves an interesting scar is all. I was already part plastic even before I got here; what's a little more.
[ Telling Steve Rogers not to worry about things is like telling a dog not to bark. His eyes visibly squint, a frown now forming on his forehead. ]
Huh.
[ To not worrying. But also to the whole kevlar thing. It's weird, and Clint's right he's part plastic (something he still doesn't like), but well - ]
If it keeps you safe, then that's good enough for me. Didn't expect Frank to act like your shield, though. [ He lifts his own. Ha ha, get it? Because he has a shield and he's Capta- ]
If there's trouble you can count on me, too. There'd been a lot of it lately.
We're still doing our little hunts as it is. Better for him to learn how to do that shit on command when trouble comes up. You wanna come beat up some bad guys, you shoot me a location, I'll be there with bells on.
[It's Clint's turn to shoot a sidelong Look at Steve.] You're not jealous...are you?
[ It's now Steve's turn to shoot Clint an almost incredulous look. ] Not at all. I just worry for my friend, too, and think if he ordered super muscles, he should get it sometimes.
[ That, and there's safety in numbers and all that jazz. He just wants to help. ]
Starting to think you're hoping I order some super muscles to go. [He is so very close to adding 'to bed' onto there. But he'll be a good boy and not make jokes about it. Yet. Right now. In this moment.] You know you can come find me and hang out whenever you want.
You just wait until spring hits, or the heat of summer. Then you'll be showing off those super muscles all over the place. You ever want for money, just start flexing on a street corner.
If anyone's doing art classes, you can do poses for them. [He's just saying.] Otherwise, I guess those muscles are all for whoever needs them most. And whoever you happen to be with.
[ His cheeks color a little again. ] Yeah. [ To both points raised. ]
I've been looking for art classes, though. You know, before the blackout. [ And the subsequent chaos. ] But not formal ones, just art gatherings and the like. Thinking if I should set one up when things calm down.
Posing feels a bit embarrassing. I'm sure someone else would be a better model.
[ He reaches out to squeeze Clint's shoulder with his free hand. ] Thanks, Clint.
[ Retracting his hand, he shoves it inside his pocket. ] Come with me whenever we find one. Or drop by when I start one. Could use a model. I'm not the only one who has good muscles.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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He breathes out a sigh, blue eyes glancing at his friend. The corners of his lips curl up a little. ]
I don't think I'd ever stop blaming myself, but- [ He frowns a bit, his small smile turning a bit lopsided. ] In my dreams, we both want it. At least, in them, it's different.
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[Frank very adamantly did not want to talk about it. Promised he would sometime, but Clint's willing to give that a wide berth at this point.]
Gets...interesting. When you're feeling things from someone else.
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Well, we didn't get that far, but I guess that's why my dreams conclude it. Always taking it there. [ Like an unfinished business of sorts. ]
For our sakes, I hope we can figure out how this works.
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In my dreams with you, it's just the two of us.
[ However, he knows he's also been having dreams about Bucky that are equally steamy, and something tells Steve it's more than just him dating his fellow centenarian. It's also because he's bonded with him, too.
But that's even more personal. ] We do a lot of things, though.
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You know what? Nevermind.
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No, go ahead. What did you mean? I feel, at this point, we can tell each other anything.
[ Sure, Steve. ]
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Uh. Just. Thought you meant you had first-hand experience. Sleeping with someone you're connected to, or several people connected. Not just dreams.
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Steve coughs, clears his throat, and did he really say they can tell each other anything? Is it too late to back track that a little?
No, he's going to stick by his word, no matter how awkward this feels right now. ]
I have.
[ And just as he says those two words, he instantly thinks of Bucky and the times they've done The Deed. So maybe Clint doesn't have to ask who it is, because Steve's feelings for people don't really come muted. They're usually intense, platonic or not. Fact of the matter is, sure, he's in love with Bucky but he's also horny for the man. And mixed with his horny dreams of Clint, well. Does this mean he's just horny right now? Did it suddenly feel a bit hot? Jesus. ]
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We don't have to talk about any of it. If you don't want.
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[ Yup, he doesn't want to talk about it further because knowing he's connected to Clint might unearth some feelings. So he's thankful that his friend doesn't seem to know, or feel, whatever he's feeling right now. Good. Good!
He clears his throat again and will try to pivot so his face will return to normal. ] Just wanted to see how you're doing, if you're alright. See if I can help in any way. I feel I haven't seen you in a bit.
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His eyes roam over Clint, gaze palpably concerned. ] Where did you get shot? And who's this psychopath?
[ Because now that his shield's back, he won't hesitate going after them. Not that its absence would stop Steve either. ]
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[The last thing he needs is Steve getting himself deep into something he shouldn't. Look, it's a huge city. It's a state-sized city. The chances that he's really going to run into Aunamee all that often (or, what, is it Adam now, is he going to stay in a stolen apartment?) seem like they should be small.
Never zero, though.]
Frank and I have been practicing this thing where he's able to shield me with this...like a living kevlar vest type of thing? This place makes things and people go weird sometimes. Went into a situation like that, I thought it was clear, turns out it wasn't, good thing his kevlar goop also does a neat healing trick. Just leaves an interesting scar is all. I was already part plastic even before I got here; what's a little more.
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Huh.
[ To not worrying. But also to the whole kevlar thing. It's weird, and Clint's right he's part plastic (something he still doesn't like), but well - ]
If it keeps you safe, then that's good enough for me. Didn't expect Frank to act like your shield, though. [ He lifts his own. Ha ha, get it? Because he has a shield and he's Capta- ]
If there's trouble you can count on me, too. There'd been a lot of it lately.
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[It's Clint's turn to shoot a sidelong Look at Steve.] You're not jealous...are you?
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[ That, and there's safety in numbers and all that jazz. He just wants to help. ]
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I know. Maybe when it's a lot less chaotic, we should go grab a beer sometime. [ Even if, yanno, it won't really affect him. ]
Then you can enjoy your ordered super muscles. [ The innuendo definitely flies past Steve's head, if that earnest smile is anything to go by. ]
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I'll let you know if my contracts don't pan out. [ But no, he won't do it. Not in a million years. But hey, it's good banter between friends. ]
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I've been looking for art classes, though. You know, before the blackout. [ And the subsequent chaos. ] But not formal ones, just art gatherings and the like. Thinking if I should set one up when things calm down.
Posing feels a bit embarrassing. I'm sure someone else would be a better model.
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[ Retracting his hand, he shoves it inside his pocket. ] Come with me whenever we find one. Or drop by when I start one. Could use a model. I'm not the only one who has good muscles.
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🎀!