au shenanigans for icasm

[brandingproblem]

there should be a name for this at some point
we'll figure it out shh

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[icasm]

Loki spends Clint's entire yet short approach towards him glaring at somewhere around the other man's midsection. He closes his eyes as Clint embraces him and tries to relax into it, despite everything else. It's nice. It helps, actually, and he returns the embrace, wrapping his arms around Clint's back and breathing for a few moments.

Just that. Nothing else.

However. Loki recognizes that the next thing he says, or does, will either be several steps in the wrong direction between them or a demand that Clint is not prepared to meet. Because he feels raw and on edge, now. Too much honesty between them.

Better to stop before that happens.

So. He counts to twenty, in his head, and then lets go. Pulls back. Thank you for coming. He looks Clint in the eye, now. You should go.

[brandingproblem]

It's strange. A sense of...calm. Maybe not contentment, but a quieting of the anger and hate and disgust. The idea that if they can have this, now, then what if they could have this moving forward?

That's not who they are. They both have too much baggage with themselves and with each other to keep it up for long. Loki's holding back, and Clint's letting him. They both have impulses that are ugly and unwise, and they can't set all that aside forever.

It's still not okay. It might not ever be okay. As a whole and for the situation that they found themselves in. Clint takes a step back, steels himself. "Yeah, I should. I'll tell the kids I checked up on you. That you're probably gonna be okay. I think Lila's kind of upset; you should probably text her more." He stands there for a beat longer. Like he doesn't want to move. Like he's waiting. Like he's debating with himself about touching Loki again. Blood doesn't come to mind this time. (But he knows it will later.)

And then he turns and goes.