brandingproblem | open post

"In the future," because Steve's made it perfectly clear that he's going to find Clint again at some point, and he won't try to dissuade that anymore, "can we agree that unless we have to for some reason, sitting on the floor means time for serious or at least open and honest talk? I think that's a pretty good signal at this point."

"Yeah, I've recognized the pattern. Seems like a good one to keep going." He's glad he's not getting argument on the point of finding Clint again. He's not really all that hard to please.

"You'll have to catch me up on anything you get up to. See if you find yourself out there." Because Clint's found something, even if he's not sure it's himself by any means.

"I've got some plans now." See Clint again, let Tony vent his spleen at him, check in with Nat. Take a couple of days and see if an extreme sport with a hard landing can help him find some kind of release. Maybe go somewhere with snow as part of that - or a separate thing. "Just keep your expectations reasonable. Ultron wasn't wrong about me."

Clint furrows his brow. "That tin can was wrong about everything. And is a pile of rusted rubble." That feels like a lifetime or two ago. "I wouldn't worry about any of that."

"His conclusions were wrong. He wasn't too far off saying I was pretending I could live without a war." It feels forever ago, but god that had stuck. Along side some other stuff. "It's not really important right now. Like I said you've got something going and I've got some plans." That's still better.

"There's always war. Sometimes it's more personal rather than international." Clint shrugs. Apparently it all bothered Steve enough to stick, so he can't say anything about that. "But peace isn't exactly the most boring thing either."

"There's always a war that can be waged, and there is always someone somewhere waging one." He cracks a slight smile. "I'm not exactly bored. Let's just chalk it up to a new adjustment period and me trying to work some of my shit out. Without going to war again until something I can fight without creating more problems is in front of me."

"You can still do this, if it comes to it." Clint takes a breath, seems to relax into himself. "Which I guess means watching me first. I get it. You make me get it a little more, what you're about and why."

"I do or... I would?" He's probably overthinking that one, but he's a little bit (not badly) surprised by that statement to start with. That someone is, does, or wants to 'get him' anyway.

Clint smirks. "I can hear your brain running too fast from here. Turning yourself off seems like it isn't a problem with how you focus on drawing or how you relax into quiet, but you're thinking the whole time, aren't you?"

[OOC: ...Well my tag mades no sense in this thread. Thank you for saving us and I'm so sorry.]

"Yeah," he admits, tone wryly self-aware. "I can knock it down into a lower gear and change directions, but off's not much of a thing. Was that where you getting what I'm about was going?"

"Sort of. I think some of it is just seeing where our new lines are. There's a baseline I associate with you that no longer fully applies in the wake of all this shit. We're both fucked up, but now we're even more fucked up, and we're learning about each other all over again."

"Yeah, and even before the more fucked up shit... Hawkeye and Captain America spent more time together than Steve and Clint. That was it's whole different dynamic, even in down time."

Or it was for him, in a lot of ways. Hard to put team stuff completely away when you were with the team.

"So maybe you feel like you're making up for lost time," he suggests with a little frown. "Trying to get to know us as us, even belatedly, instead of...Cap and Hawk, or Ronin."

"No maybe about that one. I am definitely trying to get to know you." Whoever Clint was, now, even.

Hell, he might even be trying to let himself be known, though that one comes in fits and starts and even to himself is uncertain and sometimes feels contradictory.

"Not a lot of us left to know." With Bruce fucked off, Tony fucked off, and Thor fucked off. Of the original gang, it's just Nat back home holding down the fort.

"This satisfying your curiosity, or just leave you with more questions?"

"This is making me feel less alone, work out who I am, and making me like you more." There's no exasperation in his voice, but that's because it's brutal honesty floor time. It's sacred.

"Glad I could help." Like with giving Steve the artistic spark again. Only, figuring oneself out is a much bigger task. The art's part of it. "Given you a lot to think about, too, about yourself. With a little bit of me as a bonus."

"I can for the little bit of you. Me having some things about myself to bother with was the bonus." He hadn't seen that coming at all, and given the parts of Clint that are still Clint? He probably should have.

There would probably be more of a visual struggle with accepting this if not for his meditative ritual. He's still Clint, but also, there's more of something else settled over him like a cloak that keeps things at more of a distance. A part that doesn't want Steve to care the way he does. Doesn't see what there is to like anymore. Wants to push away.

He steeps in the stillness for a few long moments. "Well, don't think too hard about me."

"I'll try to keep it down to reasonable amounts." It's sort of dismissive, but not entirely. Making light of himself with it, and also just generally making sure the read on it's not too heavy. Setting Clint off and making him want to run... is a recurring fear, here, apparently. "And if I do, I'll keep it to myself."

He can feel the shift and the stillness. He more or less gets the reason for it right. It's not the same as anything he's known or any of them do, but it's similar enough that it isn't immediately alarming to him, either.

"I've never been good in a spotlight. Even if it's just one person's." Well. Demonstrably untrue, given several people who put him in their own personal spotlight. It's a little bit of making light in his own right.

"Good thing I try to do my work under cover of darkness now." See, he can still be funny even now. To a degree.

"Yeah, that outfit would be an odd choice for midday operations." There's a little bit of a smile with that, warmth and humor in his faint accent. "Feels like it's better suited for shadows. Maybe some indirect light."

Clint gives a light scoff. "Hey, none of my outfits have exactly been bright or standing out. I've seen you in a pretty vibrant shade of blue though."

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