pixie ic contact

[brandingproblem]

Clint Barton

hawkeyethearcherguy

---

COURT

DAY

DORM

301

Message @hawkeyethearcherguy

Comments

[ironypoisoned]

Filing this one under "nicest things anyone's ever said about my emotional availability."

But yeah, I'm fine. [ Liar. ] I mean, I grew fangs and now I have a snake tongue, but besides that, yeah, I'm fine. [ Liar. ] In one piece still, and that's the important part.

[brandingproblem]

You sound like me after a hard mission that ended with me laid up in medical. In one piece and that's the part that counts. Coulson was never all that impressed.

[ironypoisoned]

And I guess that means the torch of being unimpressed gets passed to you then.

Really, I'm

[ Ugh, fine. ]

Okay, fine, I'm a bit freaked out about the new body mods and how I got them, but I'll live if I don't bite through my tongue. Or tongues? Whatever.

[brandingproblem]

He rubbed off on me, what can I say.

Get your teeth filed down? Magic might make them grow back the same though.

[ironypoisoned]

Have a feeling a dentist won't be able to fix this one.

Also have a feeling this is the universe's way of punishing me for being a dick and brainwashing people, so. Sorry for that. Maybe we save the weird fairy powers for structured training and emergencies in the future, eh?

[brandingproblem]

I don't think that it is. But I'll still accept an apology. If you ever want to try weird fairy powers for training with me, I can probably be okay with it so long as you aren't a huge jackass about it. Still would prefer getting asked first though.

I thought I could find someone to help me get some mental fortitude about it. Build mundane defenses. Seems he's up and disappeared. How do you think Strange would be on a more magical front about it? Maybe make a charm of "get out of my head"?

[ironypoisoned]

Strange is a good teacher. He resists my charm all the time. He could probably train your brain.

[brandingproblem]

Your charms are pretty easy to resist.
If you make me drop trou again I'm going to rip your snake tongue out.

[ironypoisoned]

NO.
Not what I meant.
I meant my ✨magical✨ charm.

[ ...Wait. Fuck. ]

I mean, he resists the other charm too.
That's not NOT the case.

[ Gee, Tony, how come you're acting so weird? ]

Point is, trust me, talk to Stephen.

[brandingproblem]

So you've been trying to mundane charm him too? [THE IMPORTANT PART THAT HE'S GETTING OUT OF THIS]

[ironypoisoned]

What is this, an interrogation? You gonna go phone up Nat to waterboard me while you're asking me questions? [ Very normal response, good job. ]

[brandingproblem]

I am adding so many notes to my mental file on you. Fascinating. What is it about him that caught your eye?

[ironypoisoned]

I don't have to answer that. I'm not answering that.

[brandingproblem]

Is it the hair? You're into silver foxes or salt and pepper?

[ironypoisoned]

NO.
It's his stupid fucking cheekbones and his shitty attitude.
Happy?

[brandingproblem]

Tony Stark likes cheekbones that can cut glass and snarky little assholes. NOTED.

[ironypoisoned]

Stop noting things.

[brandingproblem]

Noted

[ironypoisoned]

God I can't wait until you retire.

[ He says it with "love in his heart" honest. ]