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[brandingproblem]

Clint Barton

hawkeyethearcherguy

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COURT

DAY

DORM

301

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audio; un: eleven

[savingthrows]

Clint, do you copy?

[ She sounds excited. ]

I want to tell you news.

Over.

[brandingproblem]

[Oh no, she's still doing it over the phone, too.] You can talk like normal, El. Like a conversation face to face. You don't have to say over at the end. Unless you want to.

[It's tempting to do the same, to be funny, except she would take that bit literally, and he doesn't want to confuse her.]

What's the news?

1/2

[savingthrows]

I'm an Avenger.

[ She sounds so proud. So ecstatic. ]

I'm a super hero now.

2/2

[savingthrows]

[ And then a second voice message, in the most petulant, snooty little voice - it ends in a short giggle though. ]

Over.

un: iamironman

[ironypoisoned]

Hi. Can I ask you a value-neutral, judgement-free question?

[ Tony fiddles with his new pen between his fingers for a few seconds before sending: ]

Open marriage, or what happens with the fairies stays with the fairies?

[brandingproblem]

[Hey, what the fuck is this? Clint squints at the text, trying to parse what it is Tony's after here. So, might as well go the obvious way.]

As far as come ons go, that's definitely not your worst material. But I was hoping you'd at least bring you B game. Not even asking for A game here.

[ironypoisoned]

Clint, if that's what I was at all after, I would be bringing you my absolute best and that's a promise; very expensive drinks, candlelit dinner, making sure you weren't allergic to strawberries, the whole nine yards.

No, I'm talking about His Royal Twinkiness.

un: iamironman

[ironypoisoned]

[ It's been a week, and Tony's fangs aren't exactly going away as he was hoping they would once Narciso had been reconstituted. So he starts thinking of other possible reasons why he's been gifted with- No, no no. He's not going to start thinking of this like the local weirdos. No way. ]

Can I ask you a potentially stupid question?

[ He doesn't wait for the no before sending: ] Do you have fangs by any chance?
Because I think sleeping with His Royal Twinkiness got me fangs. [ Don't even mention the tongue. ]

[brandingproblem]

No I do not have fangs. [What a horrifying thought that he is vaguely aware Tony is dealing with.]

I don't feel like anything's changed with me physically, if you think he fucked magic into you.

[WHICH IS ALSO A HORRIFYING THOUGHT that keeps him up sometimes (and he'll find out about that) (at some point) (just not yet)]

[ironypoisoned]

Well. That's good.

[ And there's that theory dashed. Tony's trying to not let that get to him too much. ]

They really oughta kidnap a dentist next; I keep biting myself and it's fucking annoying. [ Quick, deflect with a joke. ]

un: alibaba | shortly after akechi's birthday

[unseensmiter]

hey roomie
i know you climbed out the window to do whatever you do when you climb out the window
but!
i need a (small) favor

Re: un: alibaba | shortly after akechi's birthday

[brandingproblem]

I sometimes even use actual doors. What do you need?

[unseensmiter]

a likely story that i'll believe when i see it

anyway
i wanna learn to throw stuff like you do

text; un: romanoff

[volgas]

I don't know if you've seen, but our newest resident is none other than Thanos himself.

[And look, she saw what he did after the king turned himself into mini versions of himself. Part of it is knowing that even if he's from some time after, she still remembers Ronan.

And then there's the other fact that despite being told that that what she did was worth it, that they reversed what he did, still seeing his face does bring out more that she would never say to Thanos himself, but that does shake her. She would make that same sacrifice again if she had to, a million times, if it meant the same outcome, but even just placing a moment of doubt in her head after the conversation she had with Tony of the mere chance of going home?

Well Nat's a little more shaken up than she would admit to anyone but Clint.]

[brandingproblem]

Yeah thanks I hate it. Can we just let him decimate them and the rest of us go home now?

[Clint's avoiding the whole thing. He's going to try. He's already gotten into an argument with Tony about Tony thinking he can talk his way out/through/around this to get their causes temporarily aligned.

There's a well of patience and capacity for forgiveness, an understanding that everyone deserves a second chance, that Clint has within him. An ability to let grudges fall away before they get to solidify.

He's pretty sure none of that extends to the guy that made five years of his life hell and made him lose his best friend. So sue him if he's a little upset about this development.]

[volgas]

I don’t think it’s that simple. But I don’t think he’s got as much power to him as he thinks he does, without the stones and armies.

[Sure, his size is formidable, but that’s not something Nat is worried about. Just his presence is an unnerving reminder. She feels it, and that’s why she wanted to message him, too.]

text; un: eleven

[savingthrows]

do you want waffles

[ Are you okay?

I'm sorry I've been quiet.

I miss you.

So. Yeah. She asks if he wants waffles, instead. ]

[brandingproblem]

[It's out of the blue. And he knows she can make waffles. She'd only been bugging Tony about it weeks ago. So. He's going to take this as a sign that maybe something's wrong, or maybe she's feeling something Big, or maybe she just feels bad that she hasn't reached out.

Hey, neither has he. They're all busy and stupid here. And she should try to make nice with people more her own age, maybe.]

There is never a bad time for waffles. [and he will stand by that statement]

un: iamironman

[ironypoisoned]

Hi. I'm an asshole.

[brandingproblem]

I'm shocked. I'm making a shocked face right now. This is earth shattering information.
I am a shocked pikachu .jpg

What'd you do now?

un: alibaba

[unseensmiter]

two questions

1) would you teach a robot sign language?
he can't talk and you're the expert

and this one is way more important
dare i say... super important
2) do you want the super soldier mountain dew?
because your idiot friend thinks you definitely don't even though it TOTALLY saved him when i shot him (accidentally...) which seems completely unfair!!!
sentai logic dictates you ALL have to be evenly matched!!!!!!

[brandingproblem]

I'm not an expert. I barely speak it at all. I'm not sure I'm qualified to teach it, but I already agreed to teach what I know to someone else, so fuck me I guess.

There is no super serum here. Nobody can recreate it. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU SHOT HIM

action, delivery

[restitui]

[ One day in early August, Clint will find a small bundle outside of his dormitory door - if he opens it there's a note: For protection. One use each. No promises. Miss Romanoff wanted to see if something could work, maybe if you tied it to an arrow? - William. Inside the bundle is a handful of wooden pieces with a rune drawn on them. One of them does have a small hole in it where string could be threaded through to be worn, if wanted. ]

voice; un: romanoff

[volgas]

Hey—- [Not a check in, but this is totally a check in. She sounds mildly bothered, but keeping her tone in check.]

You get any new surprises lately?

text

[brandingproblem]

[The unfortunate thing is that he kind of wishes he did get any new surprises lately. His voice still hasn't healed--or hasn't returned, or hasn't worked yet. He feels like the only recent surprise he's gotten has been Tony apologizing for misunderstanding the entire Narciso situation. Is that good or bad? Hard to say.]

I'm going to go ahead and assume this means you did.
What happened?