[MMMMM HE WOULD SAY THAT TOO. Okay. Okay. Punching Tony some more is going to get scheduled for another day.]
He didn't say anything about putting it to a vote or asking the rest of his team about it, did he? [Or anything about the name, like, the B-Team, or, Revengers, or Youngervengers, anything, they can workshop it--]
And I'm sure you can, I'm sure you can prove yourself with time and training. But I'm worried about you. I don't want you getting hurt because of this.
El, I am, what, four times your age, and I've been shooting since I was about your age. It's not just about the skills, though. If he's looking to make a new team, then everyone needs to be able to learn to work as a team. You need to be able to plan on the fly and change those plans on the fly; you need to be able to take orders and give them.
I don't know what all you've gotten up to back home. I'm willing to bet it's a lot more than someone your age ever should've. I don't want you to feel like you're being used.
What I want is for the team to have a say in deciding who gets to call themselves an Avenger. And what I want is for you to be able to live like a more normal little girl who doesn't have to worry about dragons or about saving the people around you.
[But neither of those are happening anytime soon, so. He's quiet for a long moment save for a sigh, staring up at the sky as he weighs this.]
Not all of us get the choice. You got one. You made a choice. I respect that. [He doesn't think she has any idea what she agreed to. He has to wonder if Peter did when he went to fucking Germany.] Just don't be surprised if the rest of us get protective of you, okay?
But I'm not. Normal. [ There's a snap of frustration there. And something else, something darker and more bitter. Something that is second nature to so many Avengers and so tragic on a 13 year old - self-loathing. ] I am different. There are... dragons. Monsters. I want to help.
[ She blows out a breath. He can hear her footsteps - it sounds like she's pacing. There's a door slamming, but not close to her - she used her powers to do that. ]
You don't have... to be happy. But. We protect each other. Compromise. Halfway happy.
[ There's strain there, in her voice. She's upset, and getting the words out is becoming difficult. Takes more effort, more thought. She's not crying, she's just struggling with a barrage of emotions she can't parse, and hates that her mind is small, that it's a struggle to be understood, to be heard. ]
But you're not normal. [He repeats it back to her, quiet but sure. Agreement. She's not normal. And there isn't a chance for her to be normal. And they all have to deal with that.
And maybe it's resignation. If she's not "officially" an "Avenger", then the next time something happens, she's still liable to put herself into the situation, only then she'd be doing it herself, not with a team.
Partners, am I right?]
I'm bad at this part. I give people the chance in the moment, but if the moment isn't here, then they're just a bunch of kids until proven otherwise. It's a bad habit of mine. You should talk to Wanda about it sometime. ...Actually, you should talk to Wanda anyway. She can do a lot of the stuff you do and then some, but she does it differently. She knows things about emotions making your powers happen, too. [And apparently she's got some experience with kids also, but that's not a can of worms he wants to open right now.]
I hurt someone I got to care about because she wanted to help and be a hero, and I wouldn't let her. Until I came to realize we needed each other. That's Kate. She's not here, but if she ever gets brought here, she'll owe me a hefty 'told you so'. So maybe this is gonna be that all over again. Maybe I'm an old dog that's bad at learning new tricks. But there are things about being a hero that you gotta understand, and it's stuff that needs learned through doing.
[ It's not a question. She remembers Hopper's words, too - that he wasn't mad, that he was just sorry. That he was scared to lose her, and that's why he kept her hidden away perhaps a bit too much.
Nothing ever happens. Nothing ever happens, and you stay SAFE.
She thinks about saying goodbye to Mike, when she thought that destroying the Demogorgon would kill her, too. She doesn't think she should tell Clint about that. That like Natasha, she has an understand of self-sacrifice to save others.
She also remembers Mike and Lucas fighting when Mike wanted to include her in the party, and Lucas wasn't happy about it. They'd all made up later. Lucas is her friend now. But she doesn't want Clint and Tony to fight because of her. ]
If you don't want me. To be an Avenger. I will not be on the team.
[ Even if it's stupid. Even if she will be mad about it. Even if it will hurt. ]
Yeah. I'm scared something's gonna happen to you. Even though you're really strong. But if you have a team watching your back, there's less chance of something happening.
[A sigh, and he scrubs his face.]
It's hard for people to see it when they're young, but the idea of someone really young being in danger is really scary. Just because you can fight doesn't mean you should.
But I know you're gonna fight anyway. Cuz that's what you've learned to do. And you know you can. So. This isn't my decision to make. It's not my choice.
[ That's soft, but honest. Eleven's grown attached. ]
I'm young, but I'm strong. And that's scary for you. But... you're old and weak. That's scary for me. [ Sorry, Clint, she doesn't mean that nearly half as mean as it sounds. She means 'grown up' as opposed to 'child' and 'no powers' as opposed to 'strong psychic and telekinetic abilities'. ] Back home. I could have.
[ She stops herself for a moment, and he will hear what sounds like a stifled sob. ]
I could have. Stayed with Kali. From the lab. To find people who hurt us. To kill. For Kali. For me. But my friends were in danger. So I went home. I don't choose to fight. I choose to protect. Myself. My friends. Laura. Erik. You.
[He lets her get through it, and doesn't interrupt. She does seem to get it. He doesn't know her history, but she gets it. She wants to protect. Not fight, not get revenge, not use her power for the sake of power.]
Okay. I'm glad that's what you did. [He's quiet. But calmer about it.] That's what an Avenger would do.
[He's going to leave the question of what that makes him after five years aside. Feels more like a former title these days as it is.]
Hey. Listen. I'm not your dad. I'm not your boss. I'm your friend, okay?
[ She wipes at her eyes, and smiles as she hears those words. She can't help it, the way she craves praise and affirmation. That's how Papa raised her - and she's bad at picking up on other social cues. She will not feel appreciated, wanted or loved unless the words are specifically said to her. She can't read other cues well, if at all. ]
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He didn't say anything about putting it to a vote or asking the rest of his team about it, did he? [Or anything about the name, like, the B-Team, or, Revengers, or Youngervengers, anything, they can workshop it--]
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[ She shrugs, even though he can't see it. ]
We shook hands. He will make me a waffle iron.
[ The last part is completely irrelevant, but it makes her happy. ]
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[ she'ssounding firm, but there'sa tinge of upset creeping into her voice. ]
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I don't know what all you've gotten up to back home. I'm willing to bet it's a lot more than someone your age ever should've. I don't want you to feel like you're being used.
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[ her voice wavers for a moment. ]
Do you. Want me to be off the board? Don't lie.
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[But neither of those are happening anytime soon, so. He's quiet for a long moment save for a sigh, staring up at the sky as he weighs this.]
Not all of us get the choice. You got one. You made a choice. I respect that. [He doesn't think she has any idea what she agreed to. He has to wonder if Peter did when he went to fucking Germany.] Just don't be surprised if the rest of us get protective of you, okay?
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[ She blows out a breath. He can hear her footsteps - it sounds like she's pacing. There's a door slamming, but not close to her - she used her powers to do that. ]
You don't have... to be happy. But. We protect each other. Compromise. Halfway happy.
[ There's strain there, in her voice. She's upset, and getting the words out is becoming difficult. Takes more effort, more thought. She's not crying, she's just struggling with a barrage of emotions she can't parse, and hates that her mind is small, that it's a struggle to be understood, to be heard. ]
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And maybe it's resignation. If she's not "officially" an "Avenger", then the next time something happens, she's still liable to put herself into the situation, only then she'd be doing it herself, not with a team.
Partners, am I right?]
I'm bad at this part. I give people the chance in the moment, but if the moment isn't here, then they're just a bunch of kids until proven otherwise. It's a bad habit of mine. You should talk to Wanda about it sometime. ...Actually, you should talk to Wanda anyway. She can do a lot of the stuff you do and then some, but she does it differently. She knows things about emotions making your powers happen, too. [And apparently she's got some experience with kids also, but that's not a can of worms he wants to open right now.]
I hurt someone I got to care about because she wanted to help and be a hero, and I wouldn't let her. Until I came to realize we needed each other. That's Kate. She's not here, but if she ever gets brought here, she'll owe me a hefty 'told you so'. So maybe this is gonna be that all over again. Maybe I'm an old dog that's bad at learning new tricks. But there are things about being a hero that you gotta understand, and it's stuff that needs learned through doing.
I'm not mad at you. Okay?
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[ It's not a question. She remembers Hopper's words, too - that he wasn't mad, that he was just sorry. That he was scared to lose her, and that's why he kept her hidden away perhaps a bit too much.
Nothing ever happens.
Nothing ever happens, and you stay SAFE.
She thinks about saying goodbye to Mike, when she thought that destroying the Demogorgon would kill her, too. She doesn't think she should tell Clint about that. That like Natasha, she has an understand of self-sacrifice to save others.
She also remembers Mike and Lucas fighting when Mike wanted to include her in the party, and Lucas wasn't happy about it. They'd all made up later. Lucas is her friend now. But she doesn't want Clint and Tony to fight because of her. ]
If you don't want me. To be an Avenger. I will not be on the team.
[ Even if it's stupid. Even if she will be mad about it. Even if it will hurt. ]
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[A sigh, and he scrubs his face.]
It's hard for people to see it when they're young, but the idea of someone really young being in danger is really scary. Just because you can fight doesn't mean you should.
But I know you're gonna fight anyway. Cuz that's what you've learned to do. And you know you can. So. This isn't my decision to make. It's not my choice.
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[ That's soft, but honest. Eleven's grown attached. ]
I'm young, but I'm strong. And that's scary for you. But... you're old and weak. That's scary for me. [ Sorry, Clint, she doesn't mean that nearly half as mean as it sounds. She means 'grown up' as opposed to 'child' and 'no powers' as opposed to 'strong psychic and telekinetic abilities'. ] Back home. I could have.
[ She stops herself for a moment, and he will hear what sounds like a stifled sob. ]
I could have. Stayed with Kali. From the lab. To find people who hurt us. To kill. For Kali. For me. But my friends were in danger. So I went home. I don't choose to fight. I choose to protect. Myself. My friends. Laura. Erik. You.
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Okay. I'm glad that's what you did. [He's quiet. But calmer about it.] That's what an Avenger would do.
[He's going to leave the question of what that makes him after five years aside. Feels more like a former title these days as it is.]
Hey. Listen. I'm not your dad. I'm not your boss. I'm your friend, okay?
And I'm your teammate, now.
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Friends.
[ The watery little smile is audible. ]
Teammates. We protect each other.
[ Like him and Natasha.
Right? ]