I promise the answer is simpler and less traumatizing than you think.
I just want you to be safe. You're young and stupid. Don't take offense. Teenagers are stupid. Please don't replicate whatever you see in porn; those are professional actors doing very specific things for a specific audience. It's like wrestling. It's real but it's fake. If you have any questions just ask me. Do you at least have lube? You don't actually have to answer that, just make sure you have body safe lube.
I'm part of a famous group of heroes. [also he has kids but like trust he knew about fanfic before they were old enough to be on those kinds of websites]
We are also definitely stupid yes. But that means we tend to have made the same mistakes as you so we have more experience under the belt, and you need lubrication. Don't let him use the pullout method that's a bunch of bullshit. I don't know if there's a morning after pill here. Listen I know you haven't actually thought this through you just think that you have. Also be careful with your wings and feathers. Always be comfortable even if you want pain involved you have to be comfy about it. [Is he fretting? He might be fretting just a little. Laura's not here to do half the fretting for him.]
Tony would host readings sometimes. It was along the same lines as us keeping cutouts of gossip mags with candids pondering who was cheating on who beind whos back. I was not one of the more popular ones, but being close to the only woman in the group kept the hets happy. [clinton francis barton please do not ever refer to anyone as the hets again]
You don't want to think about me fucking and I don't want to think about you fucking. But we're going to look out for each other anyway. No one will ever find his body if he hurts you. I mean it I will disappear his ass.
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brandingproblem) wrote2025-03-24 12:12 pm
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...but if you swear to never mention this conversation again i'll pretend i don't already know everything you wanna teach me
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I just want you to be safe. You're young and stupid. Don't take offense. Teenagers are stupid. Please don't replicate whatever you see in porn; those are professional actors doing very specific things for a specific audience. It's like wrestling. It's real but it's fake. If you have any questions just ask me.
Do you at least have lube?
You don't actually have to answer that, just make sure you have body safe lube.
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why do you know what fanfic is
adults are ALSO stupid, in my defense
adults might even be stupidER
[ But okay, fine. She'll go on down to the market. ]
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We are also definitely stupid yes. But that means we tend to have made the same mistakes as you so we have more experience under the belt, and you need lubrication. Don't let him use the pullout method that's a bunch of bullshit. I don't know if there's a morning after pill here.
Listen I know you haven't actually thought this through you just think that you have.
Also be careful with your wings and feathers. Always be comfortable even if you want pain involved you have to be comfy about it.
[Is he fretting? He might be fretting just a little. Laura's not here to do half the fretting for him.]
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i see
the allure of old man yaoi is multiversal
okay okay i get it
lube + don't get gregnant + watch the feathers
i PROMISE i've thought this through
[ She has not. ]
but
thanks
for being cool
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I was not one of the more popular ones, but being close to the only woman in the group kept the hets happy. [clinton francis barton please do not ever refer to anyone as the hets again]
You don't want to think about me fucking and I don't want to think about you fucking. But we're going to look out for each other anyway.
No one will ever find his body if he hurts you.
I mean it I will disappear his ass.
Is there a reason this can't happen in his room?
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Wait. ]
you guys seriously only had one girl??
it was JUST HER?
also PLZ do not black bag mishima
i promise he's not capable of hurting anything
and uh
it's just
his roommate is scary