[ Don't say Natasha. Don't say Natasha. ] 'M smarter than I look? [ A beat. He's gonna need a better excuse than that. ] Something about it didn't feel right, so- I put two and two together. [ Another beat. ] Well. Really it was more... Square root of the square of x-one minus x-two plus the square of y-one minus y-two. [ A third beat. To really sell it. ] Distance between two points, if you even care.
[Actually just stop saying words, genuinely shut the fuck up, Do Not Open Your Mouth Further, though whether Tony listens to that or not is entirely up to Tony. And Tony's unfortunate impulses.
Take a breath. Nice and deep through the nose.]
I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, Tony. Because you're my friend. You have said and done some pretty horrible stuff to your friends before, but I'd like to think that if you hadn't misread the situation? That some of the things that came out of your mouth would not have come out. I'd like to think that you would have gotten really awkward and quiet and then said something else stupid and unfortunate to change the topic. So I guess this is kind of that, just really belatedly.
[ Tony seals his lips shut. He just awkwardly stands there, feeling terrible, and Not Opening His Mouth Further. ] Mhm. [ Is his response when he dares make a noise. He follows it up with a hard swallow.
After a long, pregnant pause, he tacks on: ] Do you want me to say something else stupid and unfortunate to change the topic...? [ Because Tony would really like to do that right about now. ]
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brandingproblem) wrote2025-03-24 12:12 pm
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You're damn right. [--he lets go. Shoves his hands in his pockets and looks somewhere between furious and panicky.] How'd you figure that one out?
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[Actually just stop saying words, genuinely shut the fuck up, Do Not Open Your Mouth Further, though whether Tony listens to that or not is entirely up to Tony. And Tony's unfortunate impulses.
Take a breath. Nice and deep through the nose.]
I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, Tony. Because you're my friend. You have said and done some pretty horrible stuff to your friends before, but I'd like to think that if you hadn't misread the situation? That some of the things that came out of your mouth would not have come out. I'd like to think that you would have gotten really awkward and quiet and then said something else stupid and unfortunate to change the topic. So I guess this is kind of that, just really belatedly.
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After a long, pregnant pause, he tacks on: ] Do you want me to say something else stupid and unfortunate to change the topic...? [ Because Tony would really like to do that right about now. ]
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When he comes back to normal, he sighs heavily, shoulders doing a sag.] Yeah, actually, that'd be great.