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[brandingproblem]

overflows, misc psls/memes, starters that don't seem to fit anywhere else, etc

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[imperfectsoldier]

"Kinda depends on the day and my mood, but if I was gonna beat myself into a pulp as a coping mechanism, it probably would have occurred to me by now." Probably. He's a little thoughtful about it, though. It's extreme but... is it actually more extreme than him cracking Clint's ribs. Hell, less, maybe? Clint's going to take longer to heal, by a lot.

Either way, he's more animated and interested in possibility than he's been.

"...there's something wrong with both of us," is the only real conclusion he's reached.

[brandingproblem]

"You're telling that to the guy that dresses up like a ninja samurai and slices open hordes of gangsters. That there's something wrong with him." A slow smile cracks across his face. "Man, what was your first clue?"

[imperfectsoldier]

"I knew something was wrong with you before I showed up." There's a return smile, and maybe it's strange, but it's sincerely bright and warm. "It's the realization that I probably need to put myself in there with you that caught me off guard."

[brandingproblem]

"You need something that makes you let go. You need something like me needing you to take me down a few pegs. It feels so good that even the shit that doesn't feel good feels good."

[imperfectsoldier]

"Yeah." Maybe. Probably? He's got some stuff to work through on that one, but he can do it on his own time. "I might take the scenic route back. See if I can work it out. The equivalent of me taking you down, scaled to my bullshit, is so extreme I don't want anyone else anywhere near it."

[brandingproblem]

"Maybe you should go find Bruce."

Because if anyone can put the hurt on...

"And when you go back, maybe you should also make sure you get as much touchy feely touch from Tasha as you can so you're not so starved for it."

[imperfectsoldier]

"No." There's another smile with that, and it's not an uncomfortable one. "He'd hate it and feel bad about it. Anyone's capable with enough cooperation and tool use, but no one who wouldn't suffer emotional fallout is anybody I want near me. I'll experiment and see if I can find something that gets it out of my system. ...I'll give you the point on Nat. If nothing else I'll see if she's up for it."

[brandingproblem]

"In the future," because Steve's made it perfectly clear that he's going to find Clint again at some point, and he won't try to dissuade that anymore, "can we agree that unless we have to for some reason, sitting on the floor means time for serious or at least open and honest talk? I think that's a pretty good signal at this point."

[imperfectsoldier]

"Yeah, I've recognized the pattern. Seems like a good one to keep going." He's glad he's not getting argument on the point of finding Clint again. He's not really all that hard to please.

[brandingproblem]

"You'll have to catch me up on anything you get up to. See if you find yourself out there." Because Clint's found something, even if he's not sure it's himself by any means.

[imperfectsoldier]

"I've got some plans now." See Clint again, let Tony vent his spleen at him, check in with Nat. Take a couple of days and see if an extreme sport with a hard landing can help him find some kind of release. Maybe go somewhere with snow as part of that - or a separate thing. "Just keep your expectations reasonable. Ultron wasn't wrong about me."

[brandingproblem]

Clint furrows his brow. "That tin can was wrong about everything. And is a pile of rusted rubble." That feels like a lifetime or two ago. "I wouldn't worry about any of that."

[imperfectsoldier]

"His conclusions were wrong. He wasn't too far off saying I was pretending I could live without a war." It feels forever ago, but god that had stuck. Along side some other stuff. "It's not really important right now. Like I said you've got something going and I've got some plans." That's still better.

[brandingproblem]

"There's always war. Sometimes it's more personal rather than international." Clint shrugs. Apparently it all bothered Steve enough to stick, so he can't say anything about that. "But peace isn't exactly the most boring thing either."

[imperfectsoldier]

"There's always a war that can be waged, and there is always someone somewhere waging one." He cracks a slight smile. "I'm not exactly bored. Let's just chalk it up to a new adjustment period and me trying to work some of my shit out. Without going to war again until something I can fight without creating more problems is in front of me."

[brandingproblem]

"You can still do this, if it comes to it." Clint takes a breath, seems to relax into himself. "Which I guess means watching me first. I get it. You make me get it a little more, what you're about and why."

[imperfectsoldier]

"I do or... I would?" He's probably overthinking that one, but he's a little bit (not badly) surprised by that statement to start with. That someone is, does, or wants to 'get him' anyway.

[brandingproblem]

Clint smirks. "I can hear your brain running too fast from here. Turning yourself off seems like it isn't a problem with how you focus on drawing or how you relax into quiet, but you're thinking the whole time, aren't you?"

[imperfectsoldier]

[OOC: ...Well my tag mades no sense in this thread. Thank you for saving us and I'm so sorry.]

"Yeah," he admits, tone wryly self-aware. "I can knock it down into a lower gear and change directions, but off's not much of a thing. Was that where you getting what I'm about was going?"

[brandingproblem]

"Sort of. I think some of it is just seeing where our new lines are. There's a baseline I associate with you that no longer fully applies in the wake of all this shit. We're both fucked up, but now we're even more fucked up, and we're learning about each other all over again."

[imperfectsoldier]

"Yeah, and even before the more fucked up shit... Hawkeye and Captain America spent more time together than Steve and Clint. That was it's whole different dynamic, even in down time."

Or it was for him, in a lot of ways. Hard to put team stuff completely away when you were with the team.

[brandingproblem]

"So maybe you feel like you're making up for lost time," he suggests with a little frown. "Trying to get to know us as us, even belatedly, instead of...Cap and Hawk, or Ronin."

[imperfectsoldier]

"No maybe about that one. I am definitely trying to get to know you." Whoever Clint was, now, even.

Hell, he might even be trying to let himself be known, though that one comes in fits and starts and even to himself is uncertain and sometimes feels contradictory.

[brandingproblem]

"Not a lot of us left to know." With Bruce fucked off, Tony fucked off, and Thor fucked off. Of the original gang, it's just Nat back home holding down the fort.

"This satisfying your curiosity, or just leave you with more questions?"

[imperfectsoldier]

"This is making me feel less alone, work out who I am, and making me like you more." There's no exasperation in his voice, but that's because it's brutal honesty floor time. It's sacred.